Officially Pregnant

Our infertility, miscarriage, IVF, and pregnancy journey x 2 (still waiting on pregnancy #2)

Bitch, Please….

on January 19, 2014

On my honor

This shit just pisses me off sometimes.

Bitch, please….

I don’t get to surprise my husband with the exciting news.

I don’t get to experience morning sickness, cankles, or any other part of pregnancy.

I don’t get to be completely naive to all the horrible possibilities that can happen.

I don’t get to conceive a baby with any romance involved.

Instead I  get tested, poked, prodded, pumped with drugs, eggs snatched, eggs implanted all in the hopes that it actually works.

And if it doesn’t?

stat

The pity party stops here.  I have got to be done being angry about it.  Infertility is far more common than I ever thought.  Stats say 1 in 8 couples have difficulty conceiving.  So who am I to bitch?  The problem is it’s such a personal and private issue that it’s almost taboo to talk about.  After my little ER visit and the ensuing persecution at school it’s become a little less taboo for me.  There are people who have shared their story or their sister’s story in the lunch room, that come in and check on me, to see how I’m doing.  It’s helped.  It’s like I’ve been slowly crushed with information, incidents, tests, loss and not able to push any of it off of me until now.  I’ve been able to read other blogs, see what others have gone through, the good and bad of infertility and IVF.  It inspired me to write what I’m thinking as a way of getting this off my chest and start to let go of the anger I have toward the whole situation.

Thank God for that.

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